A divorce is a difficult situation for both the kids and parents. The whole family may feel a lot of anxiety and stress, but it may be tougher on your kids since their life is changing suddenly. You need to make sure you help your children deal with your divorce properly to avoid creating trauma or angry feelings.
Here are some tips that can help you support your kid through a divorce.
Be Real
Your children may feel somewhat betrayed in a divorce, so we highly urge you to be truthful to them. You should explain everything to them in a straightforward and simple matter – they want to be treated like adults, so lying or sugar-coating things will only make them upset.
While there is no real easy way to break the news to them, you should explain your reasons without bringing up blame or negative feelings too much. You could also ask a lawyer who specializes in family law in Santa Fe, NM to help your kids understand how divorce works if they have any questions.
Reassurance
Children will have a lot of overwhelming feelings and doubtful thoughts when their parents get divorced. You need to reassure them that both you and your ex-partner still love them. You can let them know that you can create a schedule that allows them to spend time with each parent.
You should also let them know that the divorce was not their fault. Many kids often think about themselves, so they may feel that they are the reason. You need to let them know that your decision has nothing to do with them and that it was a choice made by adults based on the relationship.
Avoid Bad Mouthing
Your children may be harboring a lot of angst during a divorce, so the last thing that you want to do is to fuel that. You should not blame your ex-partner for the separation, and you should avoid speaking ill of them. It can make your child feel confused and feel as though they have to be loyal to only one parent.
This can damage them emotionally and mentally in the future. They may grow an unnecessary hatred toward the other parent, which can affect their relationship with that parent, or even you, for the rest of their lives. You should let them know that they can still value both parents without having to choose a side.
Be Understanding
While you may be having a hard time because of the divorce, you need to understand your kids more in this situation. Children are naturally rebellious, so they may start acting out when they find out that their life is changing. They may begin breaking the rules and disobeying you.
While we are not saying that you should let them be, you should speak to them in a respectful and understanding manner. You should let them know that acting out will not help anyone get through this situation and suggest other healthier coping mechanisms to express their feelings.
Divorce can be tricky, especially for the kids. Remember to follow the tips above to help them cope with it.
